Deepest Desire_A Billionaire Bad Boy Novel Read online

  I stood on the runway long after the plane had already taken flight and became nothing but a dark speck in the clear blue sky. I had watched it take her away from me until my eyes could no longer see it.

  I had lost the one person I knew in my soul I should have fought harder for.

  Chapter 32

  Skylar

  Greyson’s plane was quite extravagant. I should have expected the tan leather seats and plush carpets. The cabin was wide and comfortable with ice buckets placed near the seats full of bottles of orange juice, champagne, and water. Blankets were folded neatly on all the seats, and all three of us had draped them over our laps and were currently sipping mimosas as we chatted about the trip.

  It was hard at first for me to participate in the conversation. I had chosen a window seat so that when we took off, I would be able to peer down at Greyson’s estate. I didn’t plan on ever coming back to Las Vegas, and the view of his sprawling property as we ascended was quite wonderful. I could even see him, standing with his hands in his pockets, gazing up at the plane as we left him behind.

  My heart was still crying.

  I had somehow managed to stop my tears about fifteen minutes after taking off. Nikki and Renee were kind and gave me the time I needed to calm myself down without them asking me what I needed or if I was okay. I was the kind of person who wanted to be left alone when I was emotional. I didn’t like the prying eyes or comforting hands. I just wanted to be left alone.

  When the tears stopped, I was willing to sit with Renee and Nikki and drink the mimosas they had made. They were cool and refreshing, and I made myself comfortable in my seat and listened to the girls talk.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever tell anyone about what happened,” Renee said. “I don’t think anyone would ever understand.”

  Nikki shrugged and took a sip of her drink. She smacked her lips. “I was thinking about that, too. I won’t be telling my family. That’s for sure. They’d never let me travel anywhere again.”

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I said. The girls looked at me. This was the first thing I had said since we took flight. “I don’t want Greyson to be in trouble. I also don’t want it to sound like he was the bad guy.”

  “Me neither,” Renee said softly.

  “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” Nikki said deviously.

  I surprised myself by giggling. It seemed to surprise Nikki, too, because she blinked at me with wide eyes for a moment before submitting to giggles of her own.

  I gazed out the window and watched as we cut through fluffy white clouds. “This will definitely be a trip none of us are likely to ever forget.”

  “I’d say,” Renee said, lifting her glass in a toast. We all tapped our glasses together and drank. “To an exciting adventure.”

  “And new friends,” I said, looking at Nikki.

  Nikki beamed. “And love,” she said.

  I drank and so did the others. Then I rested my drink in my lap and sighed. Love. She was right, of course. I did love Greyson. Leaving him behind and watching him disappear into a miniscule speck had been the most agonizing thing I had ever felt. It had been worse than being locked in that room at the Bravo mansion. Much worse.

  “Will you stay in touch with him?” Nikki asked after a couple minutes of silence.

  I shrugged. “No, probably not. It would be too hard. We didn’t exchange any information. I thought it would be best if we both just returned to our normal lives and kept this week as a memory.”

  “I sure didn’t get the feeling that’s what he wanted,” Nikki said. “From the way he looked at you, I think he saw a long-term thing.”

  I bit my bottom lip and stared at my drink in my lap. “If we didn’t live in different cities and lead completely different lives, maybe it would have worked. But that’s not the case. He’s a wealthy businessman. He owns the most successful hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. I’m a nurse, and Houston is my home. I’m not willing to give that up. And I could never ask him to give up his career and his life for me.”

  “Why would he have to?” Renee asked.

  “Because there’s no way I would ever live in Las Vegas,” I said, polishing off the rest of my mimosa. “The trip was great, minus the kidnapping, but Vegas still isn’t my cup of tea. The best attraction it offers is Greyson himself, in my opinion.”

  “He could fly you out on his private jet on weekends,” Nikki suggested. “You could take us with you sometimes so Renee and I could tan by his pool. How wonderful would that be?” She nudged Renee with her elbow playfully.

  “It would be fun,” I admitted. “But unrealistic. We made the choice we had to make. That’s all there is to it.”

  “But won’t you miss him?” Renee asked.

  “Of course, I’ll miss him,” I said. “But I miss my patients, too. I miss my job. I miss my apartment and the weather in Houston. I miss the fresh air. I miss the breeze. My foundation is there. I’m not going to throw it away.”

  Renee shrugged. “Suit yourself. I just think the two of you made a really nice couple. You never know what he’d be willing to give up or change in order to be with you. You never asked him.”

  “Because that would be wrong. I couldn’t ask him to choose between me and his business. He loves his job.”

  “Sure, he does,” Renee said. “But I think he loves you, too. He would choose the one that made him happier. Even a dog could tell which one that would be.”

  “Okay,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I made the right choice. I want to go home. I want everything to go back to the way it was before I ever met him.”

  Before I stared into those wonderful blue eyes of his. Before I felt the pressure of his lips on mine the first time he kissed me. I wanted to forget the way he made me feel when I was around him. Whole. Happy. Full. I could be content when I was alone again, couldn’t I?

  After three hours in the air, we started descending into Houston. The clouds parted, and all three of us peered down as the ground rose to meet us. The greenery below was a refreshing sight, and it appealed to me much more than the dry tones of brown that Vegas offered.

  When the plane door opened, I inhaled a deep breath of air. “I had no idea how much fresher the air was here,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Renee agreed. “And keep in mind, we’re at an airport. It’s even fresher when you get away from all the jet fuel.”

  Greyson had hired a car for us to bring each of us back home. I lived the farthest from the airport, so after saying goodbye to Renee and Nikki and promising to meet up with them in a few days for lunch, I was left in the back of the car by myself.

  The loneliness was crippling. And it startled me.

  I was an introvert. I loved my alone time. In fact, I needed it like I needed air. After long shifts at the hospital, my favorite thing to do was come home and enjoy my little apartment all by my lonesome. I loved running a bath and reading a book. I could do the same thing every night for weeks or months on end without feeling the slightest inclination to go out and socialize.

  Now though, in the back of the luxury sedan, I found myself missing the heat of Greyson’s thigh pressed against mine. I missed the warmth of his fingers around mine as we held hands.

  The loneliness grew more intense when I let myself into my apartment half an hour later. It smelled musky from being closed up for the week. I set to opening windows and lighting a lavender scented candle.

  Then, in complete silence, I unpacked my suitcase and started a load of laundry. I boiled some water to make a pot of tea, and as it was steeped in my floral-patterned teapot, I sat down at my kitchen island and watched it steam.

  I missed Greyson.

  My eyes started to water as I did my best to try to think of something besides him. Something besides his dark hair, sharp jaw, bruised ribs, broad shoulders, abs, lean frame, bright eyes—Damn.

  It was impossible.

  I needed a distraction.

  So I picked up m
y phone and called Renee. She answered, her voice a little hesitant. “Sky, is everything okay? Did you get home all right?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m home. I’ve got my laundry going and stuff.”

  “Oh, good.” She paused on the other end. I imagined she was sitting on her sofa, watching television or maybe preparing something to eat. “What’s up?”

  “I was wondering what you were doing,” I said.

  “Nothing, just making some soup. All my cupboards are empty so all I have is this tomato basil soup. Smells all right. I’ll have to go get some groceries tomorrow.”

  “Do you want to come over?”

  Renee paused again. “Hell yes, I want to come over.”

  I exhaled with relief. “Okay. Come any time. Actually, sooner is better than later. Forget the soup. We’ll order takeout and throw on a movie.”

  “I’m bringing nail polish,” Renee said happily. “My toes are all chipped and faded from the pool. Mani pedis?”

  I glanced at the pink polish on my toes. “Yes, do you have black?”

  “You know who you’re talking to, right? I literally have every shade imaginable. I’ll bring my collection. You can pick whatever you like. I’ll stop at the store on my way over and grab some snacks for later. Popcorn? Chocolate? What are you feeling?”

  “Chocolate,” I said instantly. There was nothing better for a broken heart than chocolate. “Preferably mint chocolate.”

  “Ew,” Renee said.

  “Hey. Don’t judge. Mint and chocolate is the best combination since bacon and maple syrup.”

  Renee laughed. “That’s also gross.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I said. “I’ll see you soon. Drive safe.”

  After getting off the phone with my sister, I was already feeling better. That soul-consuming loneliness was beginning to fade away, and I knew it would only get better as soon as my sister arrived. I needed her company, and I knew a call like that was exactly what Renee had been wanting from me for the last couple of years.

  I was going to make a point to see her a lot more often. It was good for both of us. We were the only family we had left, and my trip to Vegas had taught me that I needed to cherish the special people in my life. There was no one more precious to me than my little sister.

  Besides maybe a tall handsome stranger who had somehow managed to completely unravel me in seven days.

  Chapter 33

  Greyson

  Meek was waiting for me at the elevators inside the parking garage. He had two cups of coffee in his hands. One was a leaking mess. He handed me the one he hadn’t spilled everywhere, and I took a mouthful. It was just as I liked it: black and strong enough to send caffeine straight to my veins.

  “Morning, Boss,” Meek said as he pressed the button for the elevator. “How you been?”

  “Morning. I’m good. Better, actually. I decided to go to the doctor. He wrapped me up pretty tightly, so my ribs don’t hurt so badly now. He says I’ll be good as new in a couple weeks.”

  “No breaks or anything?”

  “No, just bad bruising. Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”

  The elevator doors opened, and we stepped inside. Meek pressed the button for the casino floor. We rode up in silence and stepped out to the chorus of ringing bells and laughing guests. It was music to my ears.

  I sipped my coffee as we made our way through the casino. I was aware of how many couples were around.

  At one of the slots was a young woman, probably barely old enough to be in the casino. She had long blonde hair and was feeding coins into the machine as her boyfriend, a lanky redheaded kid, watched her with bright eyes and offered her words of encouragement. He proceeded to point at the rows that appeared every time she spun the reels, and he explained what she wanted to get to earn the most money back. She listened to him intently and then pressed the spin button. She won a hundred dollars and sprang up from her seat to throw her arms around the redheaded kid. He laughed jovially and swung her around before planting a kiss on her lips.

  Another couple was hunkered down at one of the blackjack tables. They were dressed similarly, in black pants and gray sweaters. The woman was makeup free and quite beautiful. Her dark brown eyes were fixed on her cards as the dealer flipped his. Her husband was watching her, and I realized he didn’t have any cards. She was playing against four other men, and her husband was there for moral support. He put a hand against the small of her back before standing to order her a drink.

  I averted my gaze as Meek and I continued forward toward the staff area. Every single couple seemed to attract my attention like a magnet. It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t enjoy this luxury with the woman I loved. She was so far away now that it almost felt like the time we had together was nothing more than a dream.

  A dream I wished I had never woken from.

  “You sure you’re all right?” Meek asked as we pushed through the swinging doors that let us into the employee area.

  I nodded. “I’m all right, Meek. Don’t worry about it.”

  “You miss her?”

  I looked over at my friend. “Am I that transparent?”

  Meek shrugged. “I’ve known you for a long time. You don’t get tied up in girls. You never have. Usually, they’re a fling, and you have a good time, but you both go your separate ways because that’s what you want. But this time is different. This time, she’s the one who walked away, and you weren’t ready to let her go. Just give it time, man. You’ll forget about her eventually, and who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone else.”

  I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but his words didn’t resonate with me. I loved Skylar. That was why I felt so shitty now. I loved her, and I had let her get away. I should have fought harder. I should have told her how I felt. At least then, if I had laid it all out there for her, I wouldn’t have this nagging feeling in my gut that I could have done something more to keep us together.

  “I’m just glad we get to go back to our old routine,” I said, trying to change the subject. “It will be nice not to have to worry about Luccio or any of his bullshit. I’m happy that things are going back to normal.”

  “Me too,” Meek said.

  “Although,” I said slowly.

  Meek raised an eyebrow and peered over at me as we entered the security room. Cameron popped out of his chair and gave it up to Meek. “I’m glad you guys are here. I’m starving.”

  “Get out of here,” I said. “Go get something to eat.”

  Cameron obliged and slipped out the room. I heard his stomach growl as he went.

  “Although what?” Meek asked, bringing the conversation back to what I had been about to say before Cameron excused himself.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve just been starting to wonder if this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Maybe I need a change of pace. Maybe I need something new.”

  “You mean something new besides the casino? Or something new as in you want to go on vacation or something?”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “I mean selling the business, Meek.”

  Meek blinked and put his coffee down. He seemed to consider his next words before he spoke them. “Why would you want to sell the casino after all the work you’ve put into it to make it what it is? You’re the reason this place is so successful. Surely, you know that?”

  “I do, but I’m starting to think that there is more I should be doing than running this place. It’s been great. Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to miss out on everything else life has to offer because I was too busy giving credits to guests and hosting special events. This job is demanding. I can’t do this and have my own life.”

  “You feel like you’re missing out?”

  “I don’t feel like it. I know I am. I know that there are opportunities passing me by, and they’re bigger than this job. I think I’m ready to start my life, and it might not have anything to do with this casino.”

  I scanned the security monitors. I loved this place,
and I always had, but I needed to reprioritize. I needed to do what my heart was telling me. I needed to live. This place had been a trap over the last few years, and Skylar had shown me just what kind of experiences I was missing out on. I had never felt as alive as I did when I was with her, and I was determined to find that feeling again.

  “Listen,” Meek said. “I think you should do what you think is right. I don’t know if selling the business is that thing. Maybe it is. But this place is also your legacy.”

  “I don’t need a legacy,” I said. “And a legacy won’t matter if I wasn’t happy with my life. No one is worth remembering if they didn’t do what they had to in order to be happy.”

  Meek shrugged one shoulder and picked at the plastic lid of his cup. “You’d be leaving me out to dry, man.”

  I looked over at my friend. “Don’t you think I would make sure your position was secure if I sold this place? There are contracts for a reason. I’d make sure your salary was higher. You’d have more responsibility because you’d be teaching the new owner the ropes. Or I would find a different job for you. I’d never cast you aside just because I wanted something new, Matthew.”

  Meek blushed a furious shade of pink. “I should have known that.”

  “Yeah, but I should have told you earlier before laying the whole, ‘selling the casino’ thing on you. I don’t want to screw you over. I just need a change, and I think this is it.”

  “Whatever you decide to do, man, I’m with you. All right?”

  I grinned at Meek. “I knew you would be. Thanks.”

  The two of us proceeded to sit in silence for a while. We sipped our coffees. Well, I sipped. Meek slurped. He was a loud drinker, but I didn’t mind. As we enjoyed the coffees, we watched the monitors. My gaze was constantly drawn to more couples I spotted on the casino floor. I had never been so aware of them before, and I knew I was only noticing them now because that was what I wanted.

  I wanted it with Skylar.

  I sighed as I watched a young couple walk hand in hand through the casino. The husband, or boyfriend, whatever he was, pointed out things to the young woman who smiled and leaned into him as they walked and talked. That was living. That was being present in life and spending it with the person who mattered the most.